Don’t Give Up

in this proud land we grew up strong
we were wanted all along
I was taught to fight, taught to win
I never thought I could fail

no fight left or so it seems
I am a man whose dreams have all deserted
I’ve changed my face, I’ve changed my name
but no one wants you when you lose

don’t give up
‘cos you have friends
don’t give up
you’re not beaten yet
don’t give up
I know you can make it good

though I saw it all around
never thought I could be affected
thought that we’d be the last to go
it is so strange the way things turn

drove the night toward my home
the place that I was born, on the lakeside
as daylight broke, I saw the earth
the trees had burned down to the ground

don’t give up
you still have us
don’t give up
we don’t need much of anything
don’t give up
’cause somewhere there’s a place
where we belong

rest your head
you worry too much
it’s going to be alright
when times get rough
you can fall back on us
don’t give up
please don’t give up

‘got to walk out of here
I can’t take anymore
going to stand on that bridge
keep my eyes down below
whatever may come
and whatever may go
that river’s flowing
that river’s flowing

moved on to another town
tried hard to settle down
for every job, so many men
so many men no-one needs

don’t give up
’cause you have friends
don’t give up
you’re not the only one
don’t give up
no reason to be ashamed
don’t give up
you still have us
don’t give up now
we’re proud of who you are
don’t give up
you know it’s never been easy
don’t give up
’cause I believe there’s the a place
there’s a place where we belong

(Peter Gabriel)

The Religious Situation of Our Time

THE RELIGIOUS SITUATION OF OUR TIME

No peace among the nations
without peace among the religions.
No peace among the religions
without dialogue between the religions.
No dialogue between the religions
without investigation of the foundations of the religions.

(Dr. Hans Kung)

Ngentutan

Yuk Jah lungo perikso nang dokter.

”Opoko sampeyan ning ?” Jare doktere.

Yuk Jah terus cerito, ”Iki lho dok, wis sak wulan iki aku malih ngentutan.

Sak jam isok ping sepuluh aku ngentut. Cumak untunge, entutku iku

gak mambu ambek gak onok suorone, dhadhi gak onok sing ngerti. Lha

iki pas aku longgo ndhik ngarepe sampeyan ae wis ping telu aku ngentut.

Tapi sampeyan gak ngerti tho, mergo iku mau, entutku gak muni ambek

gak mambu. Cumak aku malih gak enak dhewe, mosok arek wedhok

ngentutan ”.

”Oh, ngono tah.. Lek ngono tebusen resep iki. Seminggu maneh mbaliko

rene maneh” jare doktere.

Pas wis seminggu yuk Jah mbalik maneh nang doktere.

”Wis enakan tah ?” takok doktere.

”Aku gak ngerti obat opo sing dokter kekno wingi, cumak entutku saiki

kokambune malih bosok gak karuan. Sampek kudhu nggeblak aku. Tapi

untunge entutku sik tetep gak muni”, jare yuk Jah.

”Berarti saiki irung sampeyan wis gak buntu maneh. Saiki tebusen resep

ikiyo” jare doktere.

”Obat opo maneh iku pak dokter ?” takok yuk Jah.

”Obat kopok..”

Cerito Khayal: Salesman

Kapanane onok Salesman Vaccum Cleaner teko nhik omahku.

Ewangku durung sempet ngomong opo-opo moro-moro salesman iku

mau langsung nyebarno tembelek wedhus ndhik karpet.

Jarene ngene ”Wis pokoke buk, lek sampek vaccum cleanerku iki gak

isok nyedot, tak jamin tak emploke sithok-sithok tembeleke wedhus iku.”

Jare ewangku ”Peno kepingin didhulit sambel tha ngemploke ?”.

”Lho opoko masalae ?” salesmane takok.

”Lha peno gak ndhelok tha saiki lampu mati …”

Little Johnny Collection (2)

LITTLE JOHNNY AND PROPER GRAMMAR
One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked the class for a show of hands from those who could use the word “beautiful” in the same sentence twice.

First, she called on Little Lisa, who responded with, “My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it.”

“Very good, Lisa,” replied the teacher. She then called on Little Tommy.

“My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully,” he said.

“Excellent, Michael!”

Then, the teacher called on Little Johnny…

“Last night, during supper, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, Beautiful, just f*%@# beautiful!”

LITTLE JOHNNY AND WORMS
Little Johnny’s Chemistry teacher wanted to teach his class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he set up an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms.

“Now, class. Observe what happens to the two the worms,” said the professor putting the first worm in the glass of water. The worm in the water moved about, twisting and seemingly unharmed.

He then dropped the second work in the whiskey glass. It writhed in pain for a moment, then quickly sank to the bottom and died. “Now kids, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?” he asked.

Little Johnny raised his hand and wisely responded, “Drink whiskey and you won’t get worms!”

LITTLE JOHNNY CAN’T COUNT
“If you had a dollar,” quizzed the teacher, “and you asked your father for another dollar and fifty cents, how much money would you have?”

“One dollar.” answered little Johnny

“You don’t know your basic math.” said the teacher shaking her head, disappointed.

Little Johnny shook his head too, “You don’t know my daddy.”

LITTLE JOHNNY DIGS A HOLE
One day little Johnny was digging a hole in his back yard.
The next-door neighbor spotted him and decided to investigate.

“Hello Johnny, what are you up to?” he asked.

“My goldfish died and I’m gonna bury him,” Johnny replied.

“That’s a really big hole for a goldfish, isn’t it?” asked the neighbor.

“That’s because he’s inside your cat!”

LITTLE JOHNNY EYES CREAM
Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother was putting cold cream on her face.

“Why are you rubbing that cream on you face, mommy?” he asked.

“To stay pretty for daddy,” said his mother.

A few minutes later, she began removing the cream with a tissue.

“What’s the matter mommy?” asked Little Johnny. “Giving up?”

LITTLE JOHNNY HAS YOUR NUMBER
The teacher asks little Johnny if he knows his numbers.

“Yes,” he says. “My daddy taught me.”

“Can you tell me what comes after three?”

“Four,” answers little Johnny.

“What comes after six?”

“Seven,” answers little Johnny.

“Very good,” says the teacher. “Your father did a very fine job. What comes after ten?”

“A jack,” answers little Johnny.

LITTLE JOHNNY IN CHURCH
Little Johnny was in church, getting restless as the preacher’s sermon dragged on and on.

Not able to take it anymore, he leaned over to his father and whispered, “Hey, Dad, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?”

LITTLE JOHNNY IN THE DARK
Little Johnny asked his father, “Dad, can you write in the dark?”

His father said, “I think so. What do you want me to write?”

Little Johnny replied, “Oh, just sign this report card for me…”

Quote of the month

“In life you can never be too kind or too fair;
everyone you meet is carrying a heavy load.
When you go through your day expressing kindness and courtesy to all you meet,
you leave behind a feeling of warmth and good cheer,
and you help alleviate the burdens everyone is struggling with.”
Brian Tracy

Husband and Wife

Wife: “What are you doing?”
Husband: “Nothing.”
Wife: “Nothing…? You’ve been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.”
Husband: “I was looking for the expiration date.”

 

Wife: “Do you want dinner?”
Husband: “Sure! What are my choices?”
Wife: “Yes and no.”

___________________________________________________

Wife: “You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?”
Hubby: “When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.”
Wife: “You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?”
Hubby: “Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?”

You don’t know shit

A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane.

When the stranger turned to her and said, ‘Let’s talk. I’ve heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.’

The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, ‘What would you like to talk about?’

‘Oh, I don’t know,’ said the stranger. ‘How about nuclear power?’ and he smiles.

‘OK, ‘ she said. ‘That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first.

A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff – grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?’

The stranger, visibly surprised by the little girl’s intelligence, thinks about it and says, ‘Hmmm, I have no idea.’

To which the little girl replies, ‘Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don’t know shit?’

Little Johnny jokes (1)

1. A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, “Everyone who thinks you’re stupid, stand up!”
After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, “Do you think you’re stupid, Little Johnny?”
“No, ma’am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!”

2. Little Johnny is passing his parents’ bedroom in the middle of the night, in search of a glass of water. Hearing a lot of moaning and thumping, he peeks in and catches his folks in The Act. Before dad can even react, Little Johnny exclaims “Oh, boy! Horsie ride! Daddy, can I ride on your back?” Daddy, relieved that Johnny’s not asking more uncomfortable questions, and seeing the opportunity not to break his stride, agrees. Johnny hops on and daddy starts going to town. Pretty soon mommy starts moaning and gasping. Johnny cries out “Hang on tight, Daddy! This is the part where me and the milkman usually get bucked off!”

3. Little Johnny woke up in the middle of the night and went to the bathroom. On the way back to bed, he passed his parents room. When he looked in, he noticed the covers bouncing. He called to his dad, “Hey Dad, what are you doing?” The dad answered, “Playing Cards”. Little Johnny asked, “Whose your partner?” The dad answered, ” Your mom”.

Little Johnny then passed by his older sister’s room. Again, he noticed the covers bouncing. He called to his sister, “Hey Sis, what are you doing?” The sister answered, “Playing Cards.” Little Johnny asked, “Whose your partner?” She answered, “My boyfriend.”

A little later, the Dad got up and went to the bathroom. As he passed Little Johnny’s room, he noticed the covers bouncing. He called to his son, “what are you doing?” Little Johnny answered, “Playing Cards.” The Dad asked, “Really? Whose your partner?” Little Johnny answered, “You don’t need a partner if you have a good hand!”

4. Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question. “Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?”
“None.”, replied Johnny “cause the rest would fly away.”
“Well, the answer is four,” said the teacher. “But I like the way you are thinking.”
Little Johnny said, “I have a question for you now. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one licking her cone, the second biting her cone, and the third sucking the cone, which one is married?”
“Well,” said the teacher nervously, “I guess the one sucking the cone?”
“No,” said Little Johnny, “the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you are thinking.”

5. Little Johnny’s kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures, tacked to a bulletin board, of the 10 most wanted men. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. “Yes,” said the policeman. “The detectives want him very badly.” So Little Johnny asked, “Why the f**k didn’t you keep him when you took his picture?”

6. The teacher in Johnny’s school asked the class what their parents did for a living. “Mary, what does your parents do?”
Mary replied “My dad is a lawyer and my mummy is a nurse.”
“That’s very nice,” said the teacher,” Robert, what do your parents do?”
Robert proudly exclaimed ,”My dad is a policeman and my mom is a teacher!”
“That’s very nice,” said the teacher ,”Johnny, what do your parents do?”
He stood up and pronounced, “My dad’s dead and my mom’s a whore.” Naturally, after that remark, he got sent off to the principal’s office. 15 minutes later, he returned.
“Did you tell the principal what you said in class?” asked the teacher. Johnny replied, “Yes, he said that in our economy every job is important, gave me an apple and asked for my phone number.”

7. It is near the end of the school year. The teacher has turned in her grades. There is really nothing to do. All the kids are restless because there is nothing to do and it is near the end of the day. The teacher says, “Whoever answers the questions I ask first and correctly can leave early today.” Little Johnny says to himself, “Good, I want to get outta here. I’m smart and will answer the question”.
The teacher asked, “Who said ‘Four Score and Seven Years Ago’?” Before Johnny could open his mouth, Susie said, “Abraham Lincoln.” The teacher said, “That’s right Susie. You can go.” Johnny was MAD.
The teacher asked, “Who said, ‘I Have a Dream’?” Before Johnny could open his mouth, Mary said, “Martin Luther King.” The teacher said, “That’s right Mary. You can go.” Johnny was even MADDER than before.
The teacher asked, “Who said ‘Ask not, what your country can do for you’?” Before Johnny could open his mouth, Nancy said, “John Kennedy.” The teacher said, “That’s right Nancy. You can go.” Johnny was BOILING MAD.
Then the teacher turned her back, and Johnny said, “I wish these bitches would keep their mouths shut.” The teacher asked, “WHO SAID THAT?” Johnny said, “BILL CLINTON, CAN I GO NOW?”

8. Little Johnny is sitting, being his cool self in the local park. Along comes Suzi chomping on her piece of gum. “Hey Johnny, wanna play doctor?”
Johnny lets out a puff of smoke, “Nah, that’s too old fashioned.” Johnny takes another drag, “Spit out your gum, I wanna play President.”

9. Teacher: “Johnny, give me a sentence starting with ‘I'”
Little Johnny: “I is…”
Teacher: “No, Little Johnny. Always say ‘I am.'”
Little Johnny: “All right. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.”

10. Little Johnny’s teacher was asking all the kids in the class what their parents did for a living. Little Mary got up and said “My Dad is a pilot, and my Mommy is an architect”.
“Great.” said the teacher. Michael got up and said “My Dad is a Doctor, and my Mom is a housewife”. “Good.” said the teacher. Johnny was last in the class and when he got up he said: “My Mommy, she is a substitute”. Knowing better about his background and always striving to correct the kids, the teacher said, “You mean she is a Prostitute.”
“No.” Said Johnny, “My Sister, she is the Prostitute, but when she does not feel well, my Mommy substitutes.”

Stop RACISM

This poem, written by an African kid, was nominated by UN as one of the best poem of 2006.

When I born, I black
When I grow up, I black
When I go in sun, I black
When I scared, I black
When I sick, I black
And when I die, I still black

And you white fellow
When you born, you pink
When you grow up, you white
When you go in sun, you red
When you cold, you blue
When you scared, you yellow
When you sick, you green
And when you die, you gray
And you calling me colored?